24 November 2013

The Embarrassing Life & Times Of Mallory Frantz

via janetkwest
We've all had our handful of embarrassing moments; those horrible moments that make us want to sink away with our humility. Those times we had armpit stains, farted in class, or asked a not-so pregnant women when she's due.

As some of you know, I recently began working at a store here in Denver. We tend to work unpredictable hours, so we are given a key upon our initiation. For the most part, I tend to work closing hours, but yesterday was different as I was scheduled to open the store all by my self. Having locked up the store many times, I didn't think twice about any possible differences in opening it. I had spent more than my usual 10 minutes getting ready, so I was feeling good as I pulled into the parking lot five minutes early. As I got out of my car, I flipped my keys, catching them so that the store key was in my hand. I went to the back door, unlocked it and swung the door open. To my surprise, the security alarm started beeping, demanding a code, a code that I didn't know. Naturally, I panicked. I began punching in random numbers on the security pad until the alarm started to fully sound. Being the intelligent woman that I am, I slammed the door shut and ran outside with my hands over my ears. Amidst my run, which made me seem even more like a robber, I slipped on a pice of ice. As I took the impromptu moment on the ground to regroup, I heard the sound of sirens making their way up the street. By the time I had made it to my feet, two police cars had pulled up in front of me. I put both my hands in the air to reinforce my innocence. The alarm from the building was still blaring, and an audience of onlookers watched as the policemen walked up to interrogate me. Trying not to pee my pants, I attempted to remember my name, date of birth, and how to recite the alphabet backwards.

By the time the two men had reached me, the alarm had stopped and that sinking feeling had begun to fade. Just like all embarrassing moments, they come to an end and eventually become just another fart or armpit stain...

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